Ellen stands up for herself
By Bill Zwecker
The Sun-Times, May 17, 2002

Along with success on the small screen--including her Peabody and People's Choice awards, Emmy and Golden Globe nominations, and acclaimed hosting gigs on the Grammys and the Emmys--DeGeneres has also made her mark as an author and film actress.

The outspoken entertainer, who makes a one-night-only appearance at the Chicago Theatrex on Saturday, talked candidly with WeekendPlus about her comedy, her upcoming plans for a nationally syndicated talk show, and what it is like to have everyone read about your private life as they're waiting in the supermarket checkout line.

Q. You started doing standup comedy more than 20 years ago. Is standup your first love?
A. Being on stage with people in front of me is my favorite thing. It doesn't even have to be standup. It can be any form. Hosting the Emmys is the same thing for me. As long as I'm in front of people and making people laugh, that's the whole thing for me. That's why I know the talk show will be very close to that. We'll start out with a live audience and that will make all the difference to me.

Q. Speaking about the talk show, how do you see it coming together? Will it be more like Oprah? Or Rosie? Or Regis & Kelly? I assume it won't be like Jerry Springer.
A. No, that's exactly what it's going to be. That's all I want. I want people throwing chairs at each other. I want to see something even more humiliating than my life on TV--and I'm just standing back watching it. Let's bring back Roseanne, too. I miss that. There's somebody for everybody out there.

Q. Seriously, how do you see your show developing when it does go on the air?
A. The good news is I have more than a year. It doesn't go on until fall 2003. My first instinct is I'll have the guests stand. They won't sit. Everyone has them sit and that gets them lazy. And maybe having them fixing things around the set. Let's see if they're handy. Everybody cooks; that's boring. Maybe they'll fix some of my stuff I'll bring from home. ...And there will be lots of aerial shots! We've seen their faces, we don't need to see that. Let's see what the top of their heads look like!

I don't know. There's only so much stuff you can do with that talk show format. But I'm going to do my best to make it fun and entertaining and have interesting people on. I used to love it when Johnny [Carson] would bring guests on who were just human interest stories. Hopefully, I can bring something to it.
In the final analysis, it really is about the person who hosts it. When I turn on Oprah, it's because I want to watch Oprah for the hour. I want to see who she has on as guests also, but it's mainly because I like her. It should be interesting and fun, no matter what the subject matter is.

I think it's that same thing when you're choosing between Jay [Leno] and Dave [Letterman]. It's not so much about the guests--unless it's someone really special that you don't see that often. I think it's about the personality you want to spend the hour with ... and it's about the tone and whether it's comfortable and makes you feel good.

Q. Rosie O'Donnell seems so good at putting her guests at ease. What's your take on how she makes that work?
A. Rosie is so great. She is so purely Rosie and there is no one like her. She's gutsy, she's a strong woman, and I think people like to see that. Hers is more kid-oriented than mine would be because she has kids. And I'm sure that if I had kids, I would be exactly the same, which is the reason I'm putting off having kids, because if I had them, I wouldn't even leave the house. I know how I am with my cats, so I can imagine how I would be with a child. I would just stare at it and go, ''It blinked!''

Q. Have you talked to Rosie O'Donnell since she came out and revealed she was a lesbian?
A. I have, I just talked to her the other day. I'm thrilled for her and I thought she did a really good thing. She's doing a lot of good and I do believe they are going to try and change things in Florida [regarding changing the law so gays can adopt children].

Q. Would you like to have kids?
A. Yeah, some day. I really think that [the new show] is going to take up a lot of my time. I want to wait. I never really wanted to have a child, anyway. ... I'd like to have a child, but not HAVE a child. I can adopt.

Q. Many people--not just gay women--look to you as a role model. What do you think about all that? It is a huge responsibility?
A. I can understand to a degree, but I really can't step back and analyze it completely. Look, when I grew up I wanted to be famous, and I think that's because my parents were very impressed by celebrities. They really responded differently to famous people. And I saw that and I think kids pick up on that kind of stuff. So I thought, that's how you get attention. Everybody loves you if you're a celebrityx.

So I grew up with that feeling of wanting to be famous. I didn't know what that meant. I wasn't a dancer or a singer and I certainly didn't think being funny could earn you a living. I just thought it was part of my personality.

Suddenly, you realize--once you hit a certain level--that you are the same person you always were. You've got the same stuff that other people struggle with. The only difference is that basically more people just know who I am and more people get to form
an opinion of me--both good and bad.

You don't know that when you're dreaming of everyone loving you. You forget there's the other side, too. I don't really think of myself other than a person trying to be a good person and I'm trying to learn a lot of lessons along the way--more than I like, but that's fine. With each mistake I've made, I've grown. I've become a much richer person than if
I hadn't made them.

Q. It seems very gutsy for you to come out of the closet when you did.
A. I do think what I did was definitely a brave thing to do and that's why you don't see a lot of other people doing it. And for whatever reason--and I don't know why--I was able to do it. Something inside me said do it, and it was a very loud voice. It was something important to my inner growth and I didn't even know that. I just thought it was the time to do this.

But if that alone was it--if it seemed there was definitely a price to pay for coming out, then that would have been a very bad example. If I had lost my career and not been able to come back, that would have been terrible. The fact that I was able to come back [after ''Ellen'' was canceled by ABC]--I hope that part is what is the inspiration.
It's not about being gay or about coming out. It's about doing something you're scared to do, but ultimately it's the right thing to do, because it's right for you.

Q. Is it difficult to see your personal life played out in the supermarket checkout lines?
A. I take responsibility for myself. I certainly didn't hide my personal life.

Q. Maybe a better question is: Do you regret it at all?
A. I can't, because it brought me to where I am today. Now, having said that, I would never do it quite that way ever again. When I came out, I was at a very vulnerable point in my life. I intended just to come out and that would be it. And at that point, I met somebody who was not quiet, who was not private, who liked the attention. If only I could go back to that night [the Vanity Fair Oscar party].

Q. And I was at that party, Ellen!
A. If you only had talked to me 10 minutes longer and I had left after that, just think! ...But there was something good for an openly gay couple to be seen at premieres and at the White House, because that hadn't happened before. It was a necessary image. It shocked a lot of people. Because of me being on television, it affected my career, because you're supposed to remain a blank slate. People aren't supposed to know too much about you so they can project whatever they want on you ... and it certainly worked for a long time.

By revealing all that about myself, it really did hurt my career. I don't think coming out hurt my career as much as my relationship hurt my career. At the same time ... those were the choices I made and I take responsibility for them and I'm a different person now because of all that.

Q. What was the most painful part of that whole period?
A. There were many painful moments, but I remember one vividly. When Anne [Heche] first left, I went out and I hadn't been out at all. I had to go to the Emmys because I was nominated for ''If These Walls Could Talk,'' and I didn't really want to go, but ... I went. As I was walking in, someone screamed out from across the street, 'How's Anne?' I was so fragile still, which anyone who has had their heart broken can understand. It's a bad enough thing to have a broken heart, but to have it be so humiliating and so public. A broken heart is quite enough, but then it was like someone threw gasoline at you and lit a match. ... That's the worst thing.

Q. Have you made peace with Anne?
A. I have never spoken to her since that all ended.

Q. What can audiences look forward to with your new standup act?
A. There will be some of the classic stuff I haven't done in a while, but there's mostly new material. It's basically about the amount of choices we have in the world today. With television and the Internet and everything moving so fast, I believe the amount of disorders we have in the world are proportionate to the amount of choices we have. I talk about life and how we need to slow down a bit.

Q. Where are you now on a personal level?
A. I'm in a relationship. I'm happy. Things are very quiet and lovely and good ... I'm back focusing on my career. And my relationship is where it should be--it's totally private and separate.

Q. With the talk show coming, you likely won't have much time for acting in films. Hope to do that again at some point?
A. I love showing different sides of myself ... and I'd love to show what I'm capable of doing. I haven't really been able to do that in a movie. For whatever reason, that hasn't happened up to this point. If that happens sometime in the future that would be great, but there are only three or four actresses over the age of 17 working today. So when that big juicy role comes up, they'll go to Meg Ryan or Helen Hunt.

Q. Or your fellow Louisiana native, Britney Spears?
A. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, but poor Britney, she's almost over the hill. What is she now, 20?

After her Chicago Theatre engagement, DeGeneres heads west to host "Divas Las Vegas,'' a live VH1 concert on May 23. Benefitting the VH1 Save the Music Foundation, the event will feature such acts as Stevie Nicks, Mary J. Blige, Cher, the Dixie Chicks, Celine Dion, Shakira and former Chicagoan Anastacia.